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Compared to couple of decades ago, today we receive birthday / anniversary wishes from many people. Right from those, who are part of our inner circle, to the ones, we see the name and wonder, if we really know them. Every WhatsApp group we are part of, gets flooded with many plain texts and few imaginative, creative messages. Facebook page gets filled with wishes from almost every active person. Instagram joins the race too, of getting those wishes to you. And then you painstakingly choose to reply to every single message individually or like lazybones, send a “Thanks to all of you for your lovely wishes” kind of message. I am not sure, how many of you read the name of every single person, who sent you wishes in the group, or how many go to the Facebook wall to check all the messages received to reply.

The process is so mechanical for both sender and receiver that often, we don’t invest enough warmth in acknowledging an already cold wish. One person in WhatsApp group just needs to start a “Happy birthday XYZ” and the rest of the group unthinkingly follows. Recently, after wishing a group member Happy Anniversary on a particular day, just 3 days later, another person wished them by mistake and all yet followed him, not realizing they already wished the very same couple for that year just 3 days back! No wonder, since many did not bother, whom they were wishing then, and they don’t bother whom they are wishing now.

Our excitement to use social media and desire to wish every single person is mostly at peak; being fully aware that our wishes can’t reach the intended recipient directly, we still go on wishing the fellow members’ spouse/kids/parents, who aren’t even part of the group. But how does it matter, somehow the objective is not to share a genuine wish, it is just to move with the crowd.

I am sure you must be thinking that I am some depressed, lonely, sad soul, who can’t see harmless happiness in how these messages can make a day special for the receiver.

My question is, do they really?

How about the pre social media days of getting a call from just few family members, friends, colleagues, getting to talk to them, to know how they are, sharing stuff about yourself, listening to their voice, feeling a sense of renewed connection. How much of that is experienced in reading 100s of messages, saying “Happy Birthday”!! K

In the clutter of these social media messages, there used to be one message, I would personally wait every year on my birthday. It used to be from my uncle (Phuphaji); a voice message, completely customized for me, mentioning some beautiful things which he remembered about me. That message & its wishes embedded used to stay with me for long. Unfortunately, we lost him to Covid last year and also those lovely voice messages since.

I don’t wish to take people to stone age. I fully appreciate the use of social media and its ability to keep us strangely connected in our mad worlds. But how about a phone call to people, who matter to you on their special day, rather than few plain texts written in a rush somewhere on social media. Find time to share with them how you miss them at times, the things you remember about them, remind them of some of those special days you spent together, wish & bless them in your own voice directly.

Real connections are direct, not through social media. Give up on those texts and messages and replace it with your terrific voice, joyous smile, handshakes, and hugs, if possible. I hope you experience the abundance of warmth on all your special days and beyond…